This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
