Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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