its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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