no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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