my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
birth control should be required to get into college
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
