he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
