even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think my moral compass just broke
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize