you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
