Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
