there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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