i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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