Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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