What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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