he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
