I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
