It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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