it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
