so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize