As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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