two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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