For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
