She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
