chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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