i don't like sucking hair
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
