and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I need water and some morals
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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