My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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