Who did Billy Mays play for?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
