u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
