I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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