So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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