This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
