new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
3 2 1 whiskey
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
