Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
