Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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