they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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