so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
