; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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