I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
