As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
