Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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