called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
