Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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