I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
And then he peed in my hair
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