I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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