my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
