I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
