Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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