no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize