she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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