What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize