weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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