when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
