..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dignity is for republicans.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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