I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
