That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
