friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
