Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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