I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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