why didn't you poke me back
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
