i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
