Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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